Introverts usually find it quite difficult to take up space, both literally and figuratively. That can cause them to make choices based on what their environment wants rather than their own preferences. However, if you adapt too much, you will get further and further away from your own core and strength. So the trick is to dare to choose for yourself.

Check for yourself: how important do you find your environment in the choices you make? Chances are that, if you are a bit more introverted, this will leave a significant mark on your decisions. You like to give space to others and prefer to take a little less yourself. But have you ever considered that this way you can also give too little space to yourself?

I see this phenomenon with many of my clients. They are so generous with space that they are short of it themselves. As a result, they feel that they aren't heard or seen. And they are so used to adapting to the other that in the end they don't really know what they want anymore. Not surprising that they then get stuck in, for example, their career or private life. For that it is crucial that you have a clear picture of your own wishes and strengths.


The fallacy I often see here is that if introverts took up more space, they would be selfish. Introverts are often allergic to selfishness and to them it quickly feels like their own behaviour is heading in that direction if they take a little more space themselves. However, there is still a very large gray area between modesty and selfishness. Imagine doing about five percent of what a true selfish person does. Then you take more space, but there is still enough left for the other. That does not immediately make you an egoist.

If you are not used to this behaviour, it can feel very uncomfortable at first. Sometimes you will do just a little too much and sometimes just a little too little. But here too, practice makes perfect. It all starts with daring to choose for yourself and taking the space you deserve. You do not only do yourself a favour that way, but also your environment, which will make you a lot happier.

Do you want to learn how to create more space for yourself, without being selfish? Feel free to contact me for more information.