Introverts often have a hard time with dominant or bossy people. They feel that they take up too much space and are too busy with themselves. However disturbing you find this behavior, you can also use your allergy to learn something from it. This way you use your irritations in a constructive way.

Ask yourself: which people really annoy you? If you are a bit more introverted, chances are that it is about taking up space. As an introvert, you prefer not to take up too much space and so you get annoyed by people who do. Egoists, dominant people, noisy people: you probably really hate them.

The interesting thing is that those irritations say a lot about you. The Dutch management coach Daniel Ofman even designed a model for it, the so-called core quadrant model. The person who bothers you so in fact has characteristics that you would like to have something of yourself to a very slight degree.

Core quality

Ofman distinguishes four different things. What you are good at is your core quality. If you go too far with that, you will end up in your pitfall. For example, you can be modest, but if you overshoot you will become invisible. The opposite your pitfall is your allergy: that which bothers you about others. It's someone else's pitfall. Egoism, for example. However, if you would only take about five percent of that, then that is often exactly what you need: your challenge. Take up a little more space, for example.

By learning to look at it this way, you will more easily see the qualities of other people. You see, for example, that the dominant boss is very result-oriented. Or that that meddlesome colleague actually wants the best for you. This can help you to be more lenient with regard to behavior that bothers you, as well as provide insight into your own challenges.

Do you want to know how to get started with your own challenges? Please do not hesitate to contact me.