Do you believe that as an introvert you will never be able to stand on a stage or lead? It may just be that those expectations influence your behavior and therefore come true. However, that need not be the case.
Beliefs and expectations you have, can have a lot of influence on how it actually turns out. In psychology this is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is about a prediction that is actually not entirely correct, due to a wrong expectation about the future. This leads to you showing behavior that fits the expectation, so that it eventually comes true. This is proof that your false expectation was correct after all. "You see, I already expected that." The prophecy fulfills itself.
However, you have to distinguish between beliefs and expectations. For example, as an introvert you may have the belief that something is wrong with you. Based on that, you make a prediction about your job interview next week: they will reject me because I'm an introvert. That's your prediction.
Insecure
During that interview you feel this self-fulfilling prophecy, which makes you insecure and nervous. During the conversation, you may therefore stumble or start to overcompensate by frenetically keeping the conversation going. The people on the other side of the table feel that tension and there is a good chance that you will indeed be rejected. For you, this is proof that your prediction was right, because you were indeed rejected. In addition, it reinforces your belief that there is something wrong with you.
You can only break this pattern by looking at reality differently. You look through colored glasses, because your beliefs have a significant influence on how you look at yourself. By taking a closer look at those underlying beliefs, you can replace them with more constructive ones. If you learn to be more open to other explanations and at the same time work on more positive self-fulfilling prophecies about yourself, the chance of a more successful outcome increases sharply. After all, you are your own worst enemy.
Would you like to take a look at your underlying beliefs? Feel free to contact me.
