Responding quickly is difficult for many introverts. This can make you feel inadequate and slower than others. How do you deal with this as an introvert? A few tips.
"And what do you think?" is a dreaded question for many introverts. They feel put on the spot and get the idea that they have to react immediately. That can lead to them blocking, stuttering or just sharing the first thing that comes to mind. With feelings of regret and shame afterwards.
But why's that? Let's look at the difference between introverts and extroverts. Brain research has shown that introverts are much more sensitive to dopamine, the happiness hormone. This leads them to get overstimulated much faster than an extrovert. Because of this, an introvert needs to be alone every now and then. An extrovert needs much more dopamine to feel comfortable and therefore seeks out interaction much more often.
Another difference is how the thinking process goes. An introvert prefers to look at things from different perspectives and then responds. So thinking takes precedence over talking. An extrovert does those two things at the same time because talking helps shape the stream of thoughts. An extrovert is therefore fine with being interrupted while talking, while an introvert finds it disturbing.
Witty
Responding quickly is still the norm in many companies. The term comes from Latin and literally means 'at the case', also witty. During meetings and brainstorming sessions, it is often customary for people to respond immediately and offer ideas. However, if you look at the natural preference of an introvert, it actually fits very badly with how they are put together.
Because an introvert first weighs and considers things, they need more time to get to an answer. Not because the person is slow, but because it simply works differently. However, the momentum is often over when the introvert feels the thinking is done. That is why an introvert sometimes just agrees to give half an answer.
Introversion is largely innate and linked to brain structure. That makes it actually impossible for an introvert to respond quickly by nature. Instead of wanting to change into an extrovert, it works better to take into account your own introverted nature. A few tips for doing that:
Name your introvert preference
As an introvert, you cannot simply assume that others know what it means to be an introvert. Unfortunately, there are still many prejudices about it and so it is wise to discuss the subject. How do you experience it and what do you need to come into your own in your work? These themes are also central to the coaching programs that I offer.
Ask for reflection time
If you find yourself being overwhelmed by a question, don't hesitate to ask for time to think it over. The idea that you have to react immediately is often an assumption, which you can change by asking for space to think. It may take some getting used to for colleagues, but you will notice that this will become easier for you.
Prepare well
Successful meetings need the right preparation. Before a meeting or brainstorm, make sure you are aware of what will be discussed. Do you have certain points that are very important to you? Inform the person who leads the meeting in advance. Or even better: make sure you lead the meeting yourself. Introverts are often very good at keeping an overview and making sure everyone gets to speak.
In my program The Power of Introversion you will learn much more about how to deal with typical introverted challenges. Want to know more? Feel free to contact me.
