A quiet and calm child can be quite a challenge for some parents. How do you find out what really goes on with him or her? And how do you know whether your child needs contact with others or just a moment of rest? A few tips for parents of an introverted child.
As a child I could be quite a loner. I could spend hours with Barbies, Lego or books. Whereas my sister was a real outdoor child, I was more about staying indoors and doing something for myself. I almost lived in the library and loved learning and reading all kinds of things. It helped me enormously in my language development, from which I now benefit greatly.
However, that calm side could occasionally also cause misunderstanding. Pulling yourself back for a while can be understood as not wanting to play with others or not being interested in certain things. And being calmer was sometimes seen as shyness or a lack of assertiveness. Although my parents understood me quite well, it was especially different for teachers. They even gave me lower school advice because I was so calm. Something that turned out to be a total mismatch (and which ended well).
So how do you ensure that your introverted child turns into an adult who will see his introversion as strength? A few tips:
Challenge your child from time to time
Obviously, the intention is not to make your child an extrovert, but to help your child step out of its comfort zone every now and then. In this way it learns new things and will gain more confidence in its own abilities. Introverts naturally tend to be a bit more careful, so some support in this can make a big difference.
Provide sufficient moments of rest
Introverted children can quickly become over-stimulated when they have too many external stimuli. If there are many social activities on the agenda, make sure that there are also moments of rest when your child can recharge. If you are on the road, check every now and then whether your child still likes it. Make it clear that leaving somewhere earlier is no problem at all.
Provide structure
Introverted children can completely immerse themselves in their own world. By offering them structure, you can help them to return to the here and now. For example, set the table or go shopping together, so that your child also gets used to moments together.
Discuss differences
As humans, we tend to think that others are just like us. The sooner you learn that everyone is different and that each person has its own value, the better. For example, do this by talking about friends and asking what similarities and differences your child sees. That way your child learns that differences are normal.
Cherish introversion
Some parents have a tendency to correct certain introverted behaviours in their child because they are undesirable in their opinion. For example, they prevent their kids from spending a lot of time alone or deny signals of overstimulation. This will make your child adapt instead of accepting its introverted side. He will continue to do this throughout his life. However, if you make it clear from the start that the introversion can be there, your child will be able to see it as a strength and will be proud of it. As a result, it will develop into a proud introverted adult.
