Lately, I coached someone who was used to constantly adapting. She sensed so well what the surroundings expected of her that she could change color like a chameleon. But with that she passed herself by and others did not see her unique strength. Until she decided to choose for herself.
For many introverts it is recognizable: because you are regularly told that you are too quiet, too shy or too little social, you decide to adapt. Because who knows, they may have a point and you also noticed that you were a bit 'different' every now and then. As a result, many introverts have become adaptive champions. They have been doing it from childhood and actually don't know how to do it differently anymore.
However, there comes a moment for each of them when that starts to feel itchy. You feel that something is not right, but you cannot put your finger on it completely. You have the idea that you are not completely in the right place, but because of all that adjustment you don't really know what your place is anymore. And so you settle for the place you have now.
This is a pattern that is quite difficult to break on your own. Often the person does not fully understand where that vague feeling comes from. Coaching can help with this, because it goes deeper into who you are and what suits you. I always start with a personality test myself, so that you can learn more about yourself. That is the basis on which we can continue to build.
Be yourself
By diving deeper with this particular coachee and then giving her insight into other possibilities, something woke up inside of her. Instead of getting stuck in a job where she didn't feel at home, she decided to actively look for something that would suit her better. And instead of mainly adapting to expectations during the interview, she went there completely as herself for the first time.
“I've been trying to find my own path for a long time, but that never really worked. Now I realize that it is because I thought I had to change myself. My focus has always been on 'that which is not good about my personality', rather than my strengths. That is a nice insight, but looking back also a bit sad ", she wrote to me afterwards.
This is exactly what I want to achieve in my trajectories: full acceptance of yourself, making it easier to stand for yourself and achieve what you want. This requires self-reflection and looking at yourself differently and can therefore be very inspirational. But above all, it leads you in the direction that really suits you and that makes you really happy. That's what I do it all for.
Would you like to know more about what coaching could mean for you? Please do not hesitate to contact me.
