As an introvert, it is not always easy to be seen the way you are. That's a shame, because you deserve to be fully seen. A few tips to better deal with this as an introvert.
The difference between introverts and extroverts is mainly in the brain: introverts are much more sensitive to dopamine, which is produced by all kinds of external stimuli. Think of contact with others or getting a reward. For that reason, they usually seek less contact with other people, in order to avoid getting over-stimulated.
An introvert naturally spends more time in his head. Things are thoroughly analyzed and an introvert will only start talking when a well-considered answer has been formulated. This means that you may share less about what you are doing and that you also ask for less space than an extrovert. But how do you ensure that your ideas are heard, in a way that suits you as an introvert? A few tips:
Prepare well
Meetings and job interviews can be quite stressful for an introvert. You get all kinds of unexpected questions that you want to answer immediately. Good preparation is key. Read up on what will be discussed during the meeting and come up with some good questions. And make sure that during a job interview you know what kind of company you are visiting and what is really important there. You can also practice this once, where you can ask someone else to be the interviewer.
Don't be afraid to interrupt
Because introverts think first and then formulate an answer, they often find it rude to just interrupt someone else. However, they see this through their own introverted lens. This is very different for extroverts: they think and talk at the same time, where talking is a way of organizing their thoughts. By supplementing and building on what the extrovert says, it can eventually help him or her advance in his or her thinking pattern. So don't be afraid to interrupt every now and then if the extrovert keeps talking.
Share what keeps you busy
Because the introvert's starting point is inside, he or she usually does not share much of that inner world with the outside world. An introvert prefers to share something based on expertise, rather than a trivial fact from daily life. Yet those facts are very important to really connect with the other person. Think of it as a kind of social glue that connects you to the other.
What the introvert does share usually has more to do with the result than with the process. You do not tell how you got to the result, so the other person probably does not realize how much time and energy you have put into it. These steps may seem obvious to you, but nothing could be further from the truth. Precisely by providing more insight into this, the other person will see and appreciate your contribution. That makes you feel more seen in the end.
Know your strength
Because the Western world has a somewhat more extroverted standard, introverts often tend to just see what they lack. As a result, they ignore their own unique power as an introvert. For example, they can listen very well and are often very good at analyzing things. Both very valuable properties. By learning more about where your strength lies and how you can best use it, it becomes easier to get more space for it. That way you'll feel more heard and seen.
Dare to be vulnerable
Strength and vulnerability are two opposites, and often we tend to hide our vulnerability for fear of being hurt. That is a pity, because it is precisely this vulnerability that ultimately helps us to show our strength. You will see that most people do not want to hurt you at all, but that they appreciate it very much if you honestly tell them how you feel. Do you dare to show your vulnerability?
Want to learn more about introversion and how to deal with things like visibility and dominant people? In my online course The Power of Introversion I tell you all about it.
