During my youth, I often felt 'different'. Not only because I learned to read faster than the rest, but also because I was quieter and sometimes preferred to be alone. My silence was not always understood at school, and I was sometimes bullied because of my 'deviant' behavior. Eventually, I found like-minded individuals, but I often see it turn out differently.

Having like-minded people around you is very important, especially when you're young. You mirror yourself to them and it shows you that you're not the only one struggling with something. But finding those people can sometimes be a huge challenge, especially if you're both introverted and gifted. I've seen clients who struggle with feelings of loneliness because they couldn't find anyone who truly understood who they were.

These early experiences shape you. On bad days, I still sometimes feel misunderstood and therefore rejected. It's as if those memories are deeply rooted in me, and they sometimes unexpectedly resurface, even now that I'm older. A friend, a psychomotor therapist, recently called it 'a bruise', and it does feel like that.

Being Different

However, I've learned to embrace my uniqueness as part of my identity, instead of seeing it as a source of pain. I still vividly remember the feeling of relief and joy when I first met people who shared my passion for reading and who didn't consider my silence as strange, but rather as a sign of depth.

In my coaching sessions, I often work on accepting being different. I encourage my clients to recognize that their unique qualities and interests are what make them who they are. Together, we explore ways to embrace that difference and draw strength from it, instead of trying to change themselves to fit into a certain box.

But the process of self-acceptance isn't always easy. On some days, those old feelings of loneliness and rejection can still linger, like a bruise that sometimes flares up again. By continuing to work on self-compassion and self-love, they gradually become less sensitive.

From my own experiences and my work with clients, I've learned a few things. I'd like to share them below:

  1. Seek Communities: Look for groups or communities that share your interests and/or knowledge. Whether it's special clubs, online discussion forums, or events, finding like-minded individuals can be a tremendous source of support and connection.

  2. Embrace Your Difference: Instead of seeing your difference as a shortcoming, try to embrace it as a unique aspect of who you are. Your quirks make you who you are, and that's something to be proud of.

  3. Cultivate Deep Connections: Seek out people who appreciate and accept you. Invest in relationships with people who understand you and support you in your interests and talents.

  4. Don't Go It Alone: If your feelings of loneliness persist, don't hesitate to seek professional help. A trained therapist can help you cope with these feelings and provide you with the necessary support and guidance.

If you recognize yourself in my story and would like to discuss it further, don't hesitate to contact me. You don't have to do it alone, and you deserve to be seen and heard.