Is something wrong with me?

For a long time I thought something was wrong with me. Because why did I sometimes find it so tiring to go to social occasions? And why did I find it so difficult to talk about simple things like the weather or someone's new dress? Was I not a social human being?

That "strange" side of me got in my way several times. At the end of primary school, my parents were strongly advised to send me to a lower level of education, because I might "be overwhelmed" in pre-university education. Only years after obtaining my high school diploma did I understand what the teacher wanted to say with that.

When I started working and told superiors I wanted to grow, I was regularly told that I had to be more "out there". In the spotlights and especially well spoken. When I applied for a promotion, I was even asked if I had ever kicked a bin. "Because a leader must also be able to express his anger occasionally."

Now, I am certainly not saying that I have achieved nothing so far. I have done very nice things in very nice teams and companies. But still that feeling of "something is stopping me" was always on my mind.

Extrovert ideal
At the beginning of this year I decided that I had enough of it. I made a plan, found a coach who wanted to help me and immediately started crying during the first session because I realized that it was mainly me who had stopped me. Because as an introvert, I tried to meet an extrovert ideal.

Step by step I learned more and more about myself and why I do the things I do. That I am someone who thinks a lot, for example, which can be difficult if you would rather be spontaneous. And that I am more a big picture person than one of details. Which is actually quite handy if you have to keep an overview.

I also delved a little deeper into the subject of introversion. That is why I know now that you are born with it and that it is actually part of neurodiversity. Brain scans have even shown that the brains of introverts are different from those of extroverts. The circuit is longer and is connected with other chemical substances. That is why introverts often respond less quickly and remain calmer. Even if you wished for it, you couldn't help it.

Self-insight
This self-insight was a huge eye-opener for me. It made it easier for me to just accept myself as I am. It also gave me the tools to explain to others why I am who I am. In the end, misunderstanding often leads to unpleasant situations.

I actually want that feeling for everyone and especially introverted leaders who managed to make it to the top in this extroverted world. That's why I decided to write a book about it. I am currently studying the literature on personality theories and introversion and I also have conversations with successful introvert leaders. Because I believe you can learn a lot from them.

I sincerely hope that my book will bring more mutual understanding between introverts and extroverts. For me, diversity and innovation are closely linked. More mutual understanding will therefore certainly contribute to this.

Do you have suggestions for my book? I would love to hear them!